The Snob's Guide to New Zealand Universities

Snob's Guide to New Zealand is now a book, available from Amazon in paperback or kindle

Paperback: www.amazon.com/gp/product/1727804147

Kindle: www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07J9XRCWK

International rankings are of little use to any New Zealander looking to send their child off to the right university. These studies look at research budgets, international students and staff, and a whole host of categories that are of very little practical use. For the parent and student, they need to know what school is going to get them ahead? I am here to answer that question, so this is it, Kenneth Horlor's Snob's Guide to New Zealand Universities:-

Rank in order, highest first, lowest last...

1. University of Auckland. 

It covers a wide field and has all the money and facilities. You can't go wrong with this place, so long as you can afford Auckland.

2. University of Canterbury.

Always second, it is a consistent performer. Careful here, as a good argument can be made for saying its law and engineering graduates are better than Auckland's. However they don't produce medical doctors, or architects, or veterinarians (see Massey for Vets).

3. Victoria University of Wellington.

It is located in the capital city and its graduates get picked up pretty quickly. They have a broad range of studies, their accountants are probably the best in the country.

4. University of Otago.

Favoured by drunken louts, this institution bombards the country with television ads promising your child will get a leg up by going there. Don't believe it. Unless you're going to be a doctor, dentist or pharmacist, forget this place.

5. Massey University

Famed for its agricultural background this institution has ballooned out with campuses all over the place. Known for its dubious MBA, it is better known for producing fine Vets. Unless you have a compelling reason for going to this place, it's best to avoid. Reasons may be your child is from a hick town and needs to be around similar types or they'll go mad. Or they're going to be a Vet.

6. Lincoln University.

Turns out good agriculturalists, wine makers and the like. It's Christchurch's other full university, it's stable enough. You may go here if you live locally and can't be bothered competing at UofC (#2 above).

7. AUT.

A former Polytech, it makes up the numbers. Toils away without doing anything remarkable. You'd only look at this place for the same reasons for attending Lincoln, except think Auckland instead of Christchurch.

8. University of Waikato.

The struggler. Not known for anything and it shows. One interesting innovation is it chooses its law students from the high school intake, rather than putting them through an intermediate year. But that's about it for this place. There is no sound reason to attend.

9. Everywhere else offering a degree in New Zealand.

No doubt some others offer interesting courses, never say never. I've heard good things about the Design Arts College in Christchurch for instance (now part of Yoobee). You have to look at any of these very carefully. Polytechs offer nursing studies and things like that, and we all need nurses. Many also offer engineering at the technical level, one level below chartered engineer. They're often good graduates, places like Ara Institute of Canterbury do a good job. But you're not exiting these places at the top so to speak, this is a snob's guide, not a suck up to whoever.

10. Australia.

An option often overlooked is to attend the University of Sydney (The Shop), or another of similar standard. Kiwis pay domestic fees but you cannot get a student loan. Beware fish hooks with this approach, Griffith, say, would not be ranked on my list. However Sydney I'd put above Auckland, so there is a lot to consider. One innovation is that you can complete a degree in less than three years at Bond University, but it is expensive.

There you go, make of it what you will.