Ethical Fund or Not?

What is an ethical fund and does anyone really care? An ethical fund is a pool of money taken from many individual investors, the fund then invests in so-called ethical companies. According to this model, tobacco is out but alcohol may be okay because it can be consumed safely if done so within limits.

Then weapons manufacturers are off limits too, because they make products that can kill. Also off-limits is the gaming industry. It's a vice don't you know.

But hang on, does such a fund do any good? What about all those liquor and off-licence vendors being robbed and killed, shouldn't alcohol be on the banned list? For some funds it is, but not others. Strange I'd say, alcohol should be off the list if the fund manager is being consistent.

Tobacco has become the evil of the modern age. But if we ban tobacco and its cultivation, what happens to African countries relying on income from that one crop? Malawi is an example.

And weapons, does anyone really think for one second that because you don't invest in companies that manufacture weapons,  that your neighbour who hates you, wants to kill you or take your property won't use those same weapons you eschewed against you? You're not paranoid if the gun is pointing at your head.

Gaming, it's a vice, but what about people who eat meat? They kill animals and consume them, is that any more excusable considering that to live healthy and fruitful lives (see what I did there?) we don't need any meat? And what about pest eradication businesses, don't all living things have a right to live peacefully (channelling Over The Hedge and weapons of mass destruction illegal in every state except Texas).

The point I'm making is that any business model that invents a moral compass based on poor logic, will ultimately fail. It must. I say, invest in good, legal businesses, that are boring, old-fashioned, dominant in their market, deliver quality not too expensively; and if they make nuclear weapons then it's all good, nuclear deterrent works fine by me. Get off your high horse.

According to the Ken Horlor Law of Investment Choices (patent pending), if everyone was right then they'd all be rich but they aren't so they must mostly be wrong most of the time. And given they're nearly always wrong, not doing what they do must be a good idea. So according to this logic, tobacco, hard liquor, nuclear weapons, handguns, casinos and brothels must be the way to go. I'm just pointing out you won't find many bankrupt casino owning nuclear weapons manufacturers. But you'll find a lot of investors tapped out by the latest whizz-bang fund management scheme.